Emmure – Goodbye To The Gallows

Ugh.

That’s it. That’s my review of the album. The following body of text is a letter towards Tony “Victory” Brummel expressing certain topics of opinion regarding him, his record label, and the band in question.

Dearest Tony

We get it. You’re a marketing genius. You’re all balls and business. That’s cool. As a Marketing student, I have to admit that I respect your ability to push your label’s music on everyone a la Hitler. Nowhere is safe from the ever reaching grasp of Tony Victory! Any businessman can see that you have a good thing going for you.

However I must confess I am well aware that this will fall on deaf ears, but as an aficionado of this art, I know the difference between good and bad music. Frankly your label is notorious for its 10-1, hell 50-1 output of bad music.

So I pass along to you a phrase that holds strong values to your current situation. My dear, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Take a second and breathe that in. You have the ability to turn small bands into Myspace superstars with the shake of your mighty fist, however instead you ponder to the lowest denominator of cash-grab. Frankly Emmure is the last straw.

ALRIGHT, metalcore! Let’s see what we’ve got here.

-Dissonant guitars? Check!
-Tormented screams of anger, where every song is written about heartbreak? Check!
-Off-key Melodic singing? Check!
-Overt usage of dramatic “deathy” imagery? Check!
-Generic breakdowns that toe the line between “super hardcore” and “brutally heavy”? Check! Check!

Everything is by the Victory handbooks and never does it once deviate from a single word. However, I must ask how you can, in good conscience, sign a band with lyrics such as “and it’s sad to say / that I still cry / to the Bayside CD everyday.”?

Kids badly imitate Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to that shit?

Perhaps I’m just getting old. I will say this to you, however. You have bands on your roster that can produce proper music of this genre. However, Darkest Hour this is not. So for the love of all that is proper in this world, use your powers for good, not for the quickest way to make a buck.

– A concerned music reviewer.